finally..volcano exploded..but not mine..is hers...i did nothing..i just wake up late..
she finally use her trick on me..

she said-never use the things that she bought..including my phone..thus..she confiscated my phone..n now on...i have no phone to use anymore.n my mp3...bless me!!i will have to survive well without any electronic gadget again..i can..if she really wan to do until so extreme..i just let it be..

she said-regretted to born me to this world...she rather don wan me to be her daughter..fine..i also don think i suitable to be her daughter..my sis can do the job well..19 yrs..have i not done enough??am i her daughter??have she ever care for me?understand my feelings n situation?no..she never..so watever i did at home is useless..nothing but useless..

she said-my hands will be paralyzed if i steal her money..i where got the guts to steal her money?she almost counted her money 3-4 times per day...i not pro..i can't be stealing her money...just cause my wallet has extra money then say is hers..i steal..since u don trust me..i don think i will trust u again..

she said-i can leave the house if i wan..why should i leave?this house is not hers also..my father haven't kick me out yet..so i will NEVER !!if i really wan to leave..i will leave without her telling me..i will...

she said-i should go die..cause i'm useless to her..yes..i WILL!if i really go crazy..i will rush out of house n jump down from 9th floor..i WILL!!n i DARE!!but why should i lost my life cause of her??she don deserve to take away my life away..if 1 day she drives me to insane..i will really do silly things..

she said-i will confirm going to be a nun for my entire life.cause confirm nobody wans me..where got this kind of person tease their own daughter like this??even though i don have any1 that like me..i doesn't have to be a nun..i can still live on my own..not like her..will she be really happy if i really can't get married??nvm..

she said-she look down on me..cause she never think that i'm clever..she's not proud of me at all..so wat for i study so hard?wat for if i get book prize?she confirm that i will not succeed in future..cause i'm just useless..for now..i will study more harder..but not cause of her..is for myself..i don care if she looks down on me..

she said-i should go be a hooker...cause that's the fastest way in earning money..no need to study also..i got nothing to say..this kind of mother..

she...slapped me..k...when was the last time she did it?can't remember..but should be recently...i will keep all these into my brain..i will not forget it in my entire life.NEVER!...i never cry infront of her..i don wan to get teased by her saying that i'm weak..i was crying..in my heart..i'm controlling..not to let my tears drop..not to let her see how weak am i..

don try to console me by saying try to stand on her angle or position..yes.. i might not understand her..but does she ever stand on mine to look at me??she will..only to my sis..i not jealous..i just find it unfair...why should i be the 1 suffering while she enjoys her life?everything she wans can get within days..mine??forget it..i don wan all theses from her also..i will earn it myself..

But now...i was crying when i typing this post out..i don know wat can i do..i am really tired..tired of living le...if this carry on...i really don know when i can cope...wat else can i do???i don know..

why is life so tough for me?i really don know how to cope..i wan to let go..i really wan...

i know hating ppl is a tiring thing..but i really hate her..nothing but hate..

可悲的雪鸟...i'm really 可悲..